The Sensuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to exceptionally hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to review produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, nearness, love, and wellness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cities, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay men desire to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow anchor in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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